6 months

Last night, after a few insanely busy days during which we were in touch far less than usual for these days, I spoke to my brother. First, the usual chitchat. A recap of Iz's play and book award ceremony. The highlights of Jack's baseball game and an update on Jon's first mountain biking expedition. And then . . .

Me: So, maybe this new date will be it.

Him: Yeah, it's looking like it might be.

(note: the above is paraphrasing—I don't record or take notes while talking on the phone)

He has blood tests on Monday, to make sure the infection has been completely vanquished. Preliminary results are back Wednesday. Thursday I have an appointment for HIV and hepatitis blood testing. And then, a week from Tuesday we've got pre-surgery works ups on the conceptual calendar.

I noted my blood tests on my real calendar last night.

Yup, this could be it. 

I've been so worn down by the twists and turns, the upsets and changes, the starts and stops, the reality of the transplant actually happening is almost impossible to comprehend. I'd been so worked up by all that proceeded it but now, I know whatever happens, we'll deal. 

It could be 15 days until I'm in the hospital and the next part of this journey truly begins.

I'm thinking a monster to-do list should be at the top of my to-do list. 

Even before that I need to list: kicking into high gear.

Sigh.

Big thoughts for early Sunday morning. But, I'm liking the laid back approach much better than the rampant hysteria that's been biting my heels for months.

So, I'm going to drink my (decaf) coffee, watch pokemon videos with Jack and hang for awhile before I let that other part of me kick in.