maybe may

I'm still hanging out in limbo city and I have to say, I've gotten much more comfortable here. I haven't freaked out in a few days. Fighting this cold and feeling under-the-weather have also been an effective distraction. In fact, I'm pretty sure my body gave out to give my mind a break. Or, all that worrying wore down my immune system. 

Either way, I'm napping like crazy and not accomplishing all that much. 

Rather, I wasn't. Yesterday I had an idea for a business that could actually be viable, inspired by all I've been going through. And today I went down my to-do list and checked off as many things as possible, set up meetings, arranged phone calls, made appointments. 

Whew. 

I'm gearing up for surgery. There's just this last test result to get and then we move forward. 

Supposedly.

I'm even ok with accepting that there might be more before we get a date.

But, I found out today that no matter what happens, the surgery won't be until May. 

I was hoping to be healed and back to normal in May. May is the start of craziness for me. 2 out of 4 people in my family have May birthdays, which means presents, cakes, and parties (at least one) to arrange. Mother's Day. Both kids have serious testing going on at school. And this year there's Iz's school play. Her awards ceremony for her picture book. Jon has a bachelor party weekend away.

May is also perfect biking weather. 

It's full of delicious taking the dogs to the park afternoons.

It's the start of eating dinner up on the roof at sunset. 

But, what can you do. Maybe May is also a great month for surgery. For healing with windows thrown wide open. For recuperating in fresh air with flowers blooming. 

I'm starting to sound like a Hallmark card so I'll stop before things get out of control.

It's nice though, to be letting go.