Monday, July 4, 2011

4 weeks today

This morning, as I sat waiting for my yoga class to start, sitting more comfortably on my mat than I have since the transplant, I realized that exactly 4 weeks ago I was in surgery.

4 weeks ago I was unconscious, sliced open, pumped full of air. My organs were shifted and moved about. And my kidney left, forever.

4 weeks ago I changed someone's life.

And in the past 4 weeks I have been amazed, astonished, and blown away by how much a body, my body, my brother's body, can handle. How we can adapt. How we can heal.

How a part of me is hard at work somewhere else. Helping someone to be healthier than he has in a long, long time.

These past 4 weeks have been many things. Trying. Uncomfortable. Full of unknowns and doubts and trepidation. Plunges back into my dark side. But they've also been filled with hope. Appreciation. Gratitude. Feeling my body and my soul ease back towards center.

I can move again in class. I can imagine new projects. I can tackle the months of paperwork that's piled on my desk. I can walk a little bit faster every day.

But I can also step back when I know my body needs a break. I can let go and stop pushing myself so hard. And I can easily imagine when the scars are all that remind me of this experience. That, and my brother feeling well.


  1. So happy for you both! I will be in line for a cyopy of the book. My sister changed my life 13-1/2 years ago and just participated in a study of donors. All labs were PERFECT and the nurse told her she had the best chlorestrol of anyone she had ever seen (for her age 49).

    Unselfish, amazing, unbelieveable!!!!! I don't have the words to tell my sis how I feel about her and I'm certain your brother feels the same.


  2. Hi again;

    I thought of you yesterday as I hit my first yoga class since my big day-I am realizing now my surgery was the day after yours-pretty cool and nice to have someone to track against :) Anyway we have workplace yoga once a week-its a small group and far less threatening than a "real studio". I didn't have a chance to tell the instructor about where I had been and my limitations so I toughed it out. She remarked after the class I seemed healthier than when she last saw me. I made and through, was sore today but crashed hard last night. I think if I hadn't read your last few posts I may have chickened out and not tried it quite yet. So thank you!

  3. Nice! I'm finding I can't really twist or do lots of forward bending. But, today I did a headstand in the middle of the room. First one post-op. And it's super cool knowing someone who's at the same place as me. How are your incisions. My big one still aches.

  4. They hurt's one of my small ones more than the big one. I had a cold right after I got home and the coughing really hurt my upper abdomen (so much I did a just in case trip to the ER) so thats probably why that one hurts more. The larger one hurts if I try to wear jeans more than about 3 hours. I get the odd lower back spasm too on the kidneyless side...randomly. Apparently that's normal. Its amusing how many weird side effects are "normal"