Monday, March 7, 2011

why am I doing this

Giving a kidney away is quite the conversation starter. I suppose, in the day to day world, it's not something you come across often. I've never met anyone who's even contemplated this. Until now.

People have been incredulous. Shocked. Worried. Have felt sorry for me. Have called me a hero. Some have tears in their eyes. Others shake their heads at how stupid I am. Some have been outrageously supportive. Others have disappeared.

I have 2 weeks left of being a potential donor and when all is said and done I pray (hear that universe? yes, I'm praying) that "kidney donor" will be a part of what I've done, who I am.

I pray that this will work.

I pray that my kidney will fit, that the hook up goes smoothly, that it has a long and healthy life in its new home.

I'm praying. So damn hard.

How often in life do you truly get to help, to give hope, to make a difference?

People ask how can I do this?

But the truth is, how could I not.

Yes I'm scared. But I don't have doubts. Not that over the next two weeks I won't be all over the emotional map. I know me. There will be train wreck moments. I will be freaking, sobbing, panicking. I will second guess. I will fall into my black hole and there will be times that I won't see the way out.

But I love my brother. And I know deep down this I what I'm meant to do.

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