to pee or not to pee

To pee or not to pee

Disclaimer: should talking about pee make you uncomfortable, I'd advise you not to read any further. 

To make sure my kidneys are functioning well, I have to collect all my pee for 24 straight hours so it can be tested. 

This process would be remarkably easier if I was a man. Instead of having direct access into my giant pee receptacle I have to pee into a 4 ounce cup. Never giving much thought to how much I actually pee at one time, I learned, mid-pee, that it's usually far more than 4 ounces at once. I also learned that all those kegels (women who gave birth know what those are) make a difference. I realized that as my pee cup literally runneth over and I had to scream for Jon to bring me the giant pee jug that makes its home in the fridge. 

My family is uneasy about pee residing there but they're dealing. 

I pee an insane amount in the morning. 

The color of my pee changes over the course of the day. 

By pee number 6 or so I mastered how and where to hold the little cup. 

I often preemptively pee, before a yoga class or a movie, making sure everything's as empty as it can be so I don't have any unexpected urges. I debated taking a class today, not sure I could handle the pee thing at my yoga studio. In the end, I peed 2 ounces before class, hid the specimen bottle in a stuff it bag and managed to lose my favorite hat while managing my pee. 

I got pee on my hands, my pj pants, my underwear, and the bathroom floor. 

I drink a lot of water. 

I pee a lot of pee. 

I'm hoping that all this, plus the blood tests in the morning, show that my kidneys are healthy and doing just what they're supposed to do. 

And then, we move onto the next test.